Myself - Houdini & NorthSideBenji

I don't see you like I should You look so misunderstood And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Pray to God with my arms open If this is it, then I feel hopeless And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Yeah, late nights are the worst for me They bring out the worst in me Mind runnin', got me feelin' like it hurts to think If this is all that I wanted, I don't want it, gotta be more for me All the core beliefs And every mornin' I wake up and feel like I am not worth it 'Cause I'm at war with peace I go to Hell, walk up to the corpse of me Look at the body like, "You ain't nothin' but poor and weak" It's kinda weird Lately I been feelin' like the only way for me to get away is if I pour the drink That's more deceit, more defeat Is this really what I'm born to be? That's what you get for thinkin' you're unique So poor, but I'm so wealthy Need help, but you can't help me What else can the world sell me? Tell me lies, I still buy 'em like they're goin' outta stock But it's not healthy I don't see you like I should You look so misunderstood And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Pray to God with my arms open If this is it, then I feel hopeless And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Yeah, late nights get the best of me They know how to get to me Suicide thoughts come and go like a guest to me But I don't wanna die, I just wanna get relief So don't talk to me like you think I'm so successful What is success when hope has left you? I am not a spokesman, I'm a broken record Sick of doin' interviews 'cause I hate myself, agh! Come across like it's so easy But I feel like you don't need me When I feel like you don't need me Then I feel like you don't see me And my life has no meaning, drain me Hands out, tryna ask for love But when I get it, I just pass it up Throw it away and think about it later Diggin' through the trash for drugs Wish I could give you what you needed, but I can't I'm scared because I don't see you like I should You look so misunderstood And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Pray to God with my arms open If this is it, then I feel hopeless And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself I walk through the ashes of my passions Reminiscin' with the baggage in my casket Get lost in the questions I can't answer Can't stand who I am, but it don't matter We scream to be free, but I stay captured Knee-deep in defeat of my own actions Feel weak, but the peace that I keep lacking Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it But I can't have it Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it But I can't have it Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it I don't see you like I should You look so misunderstood And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Pray to God with my arms open If this is it, then I feel hopeless And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Hate myself But it's hard when I hate myself Hate myself But it's hard when I hate myself When I hate myself It's kinda hard when I hate myself I hate myself It's hard when I hate myself

I know I'm far away Far from what I used to be No one can get in my way It's my time to shine baby Always been caring about the rest But no one ever cared for me Always been looking for someone else Until I found myself Until I found myself Until I found myself I know I'm far away Far from what I used to be Don't wanna be who I was I'm stronger babe And I don't really care About what people think I just need myself It's time to be My priority Always been caring about the rest But no one ever cared for me Always been looking for someone else Until I found myself Until I found myself Until I found myself

Now, sometimes these thoughts in my head speak so loud Every little thing that I think about Just builds on top of the pain and doubt Even though I wanna just let it out I try to act like I don't mind it, try to keep my mouth so quiet But sittin' there in my silence just seems to amplify it When I thought that keepin' this inside would make it better I never thought that I would end up ruining it forever But every time I think I got everything put back together I end up making more regrets, making more regrets Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start Fighting myself, I always lose Fighting myself, I always lose I didn't want you to think I'm worn out so easily I wish I'd held it in so you never knew what built up inside of me Now I don't know how it overflows, spilled out unwillingly But now everything that I learned to hate came out for you to see I don't want you to promise you can change everything and make it better 'Cause you can bet I'm gonna end up ruining it forever And every time you think you got everything put back together I end up making more regrets, making more regrets Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start Fighting myself, I always lose Fighting myself, I always lose Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start Fighting myself, I always lose Fighting myself, I always lose I can't run with this weight on my back I can't see 'cause I'm focused on the past I can't breathe, I need to break free From the anger that is constantly inside me I can't run with this weight on my back I can't see 'cause I'm focused on the past I can't breathe, I need to break free From the anger that is constantly inside of me Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start I can't breathe, I need to break free From the anger that is constantly inside of me Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start I can't breathe, I need to break free From the anger that is constantly inside of me

눈을 뜬다 어둠 속 나 심장이 뛰는 소리 낯설 때 마주 본다 거울 속 너 겁먹은 눈빛 해묵은 질문 어쩌면 누군가를 사랑하는 것보다 더 어려운 게 나 자신을 사랑하는 거야 솔직히 인정할 건 인정하자 니가 내린 잣대들은 너에게 더 엄격하단 걸 니 삶 속의 굵은 나이테 그 또한 너의 일부 너이기에 이제는 나 자신을 용서하자 버리기엔 우리 인생은 길어 미로 속에선 날 믿어 겨울이 지나면 다시 봄은 오는 거야 차가운 밤의 시선 초라한 날 감추려 몹시 뒤척였지만 저 수많은 별을 맞기 위해 난 떨어졌던가 저 수천 개 찬란한 화살의 과녁은 나 하나 You've shown me I have reasons I should love myself 내 숨 내 걸어온 길 전부로 답해 어제의 나 오늘의 나 내일의 나 I'm learning how to love myself 빠짐없이 남김없이 모두 다 나 정답은 없을지도 몰라 어쩜 이것도 답은 아닌 거야 그저 날 사랑하는 일조차 누구의 허락이 필요했던 거야 난 지금도 나를 또 찾고 있어 But 더는 죽고 싶지가 않은 걸 슬프던 me 아프던 me 더 아름다울 美 그래 그 아름다움이 있다고 아는 마음이 나의 사랑으로 가는 길 가장 필요한 나다운 일, eh 지금 날 위한 행보는 바로 날 위한 행동 날 위한 태도 그게 날 위한 행복 I'll show you what i got 두렵진 않아 그건 내 존재니까 Love myself 시작의 처음부터 끝의 마지막까지 해답은 오직 하나 왜 자꾸만 감추려고만 해 니 가면 속으로 내 실수로 생긴 흉터까지 다 내 별자린데 You've shown me I have reasons I should love myself oh oh oh 내 숨 내 걸어온 길 전부로 답해 내 안에는 여전히 oh oh oh 서툰 내가 있지만 oh oh oh You've shown me I have reasons I should love myself oh oh 내 숨 내 걸어온 길 전부로 답해 oh oh oh 어제의 나 오늘의 나 내일의 나 I'm learning how to love myself 빠짐없이 남김없이 모두 다 나

What did I say? What do you want? I swear I'll make it up Oh my gosh, what have I done? Hmm Pain in my chest, can't get to sleep In these cold and empty sheets Where did you go? Why did you leave? Lie to me, it would help Just lie to me, say you found someone else Lie to me, it would help Just lie to me, say you found someone else So I don't blame myself Ooh, ooh, ooh So I don't blame myself Ooh, ooh, ooh So I don't blame myself So I don't blame myself So I don't blame myself Movin' too fast, callin' it love Was I just not enough? Nothin' makes sense, it don't add up (oh, whoa) Slammin' the door, not sayin' a word It just keeps gettin' worse I'm not okay, honest, it hurts Lie to me, it would help Just lie to me, say you found someone else Lie to me, it would help Just lie to me, say you found someone else So I don't blame myself Ooh, ooh, ooh (ooh) So I don't blame myself (hey) Ooh, ooh, ooh (ooh) So I don't blame myself (Oh, oh whoa, oh whoa) So I don't blame myself (Oh, oh whoa, whoa) So I don't blame myself (Oh, oh whoa, oh whoa) So I don't blame myself

متكتف مهموم موجوع وضعيف وشجاع مليان أحلام وعشان مربوط مكسور وبكسر في المآديف وتفوت أيام وتمر سنين وانا حالي غريب انا مين انا مين مشدود في الساقية وعايش مبسوط وحزين ومحبط وجرئ ورزين مشدود في الساقية وعايش مبسوط وحزين ومحبط وجرئ ورزين على غفلة اتحول بركان جبار انا ضلمة وليل أنا نار ونهار متكتف مهموم موجوع وضعيف وشجاع مليان أحلام وعشان مربوط مكسور وبكسر في المآديف ماشي على طريق مكتوب مرسوم بس انا مسؤول وعليا اللوم ماقدرش أقول من الذنب برئ لا انا ابليس ولا هبقى رسول ماقدرش أقول من الذنب برئ لا انا ابليس ولا هبقى رسول قدامي طريق همشيه همشيه نفهم في الآخر كل ده لية متكتف مهموم موجوع وضعيف وشجاع مليان أحلام وعشان مربوط مكسور وبكسر في المآديف

فوسط زحمة وناس كتير وطريق أنا ماشي فيه عكس السير وسط الطموح والأمل والتمني فاضلي خطوة توصلني فوسط حاجات ومكيفات بحاول أنسى كل اللي فات في وسط صدري ضلعي مكسور ومن خلاله قلبي شايف نور أنا كنت فاكر اني طاير وأتاريني على وشي بقع أنا كنت فاكر إني هوصل لكني بهرب من الوجع أنا كنت فاكر اني طاير وأتاريني على وشي بقع أنا كنت فاكر إني هوصل لكني بهرب من الوجع فوسط الليل وأنا بعيد عن البشر شفت نور يشبه نور القمر بس القمر مسيره يفارق ويسيبني تاني مع الوحدة أحارب فوسط قصة حب يعني وهمية كان لازم أصدق اصل الوحدة قوية مش كل المشاعر حقيقية أنا شفت نور معرفتش اغمض عنيا أنا كنت فاكر اني طاير وأتاريني على وشي بقع أنا كنت فاكر إني هوصل لكني بهرب من الوجع أنا كنت فاكر اني طاير وأتاريني على وشي بقع أنا كنت فاكر إني هوصل لكني بهرب من الوجع