Hate Myself - NF

I wish that I had somebody to call when I am not okay I wish that I had anyone who cared when I am in that place I wish I could have a mental breakdown Without turning my life into a ghost town So many things I would change But more than anything I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself I wish somebody listened As much as I go through hell For everytime I've thought of ending it all Wish somebody had felt what I felt I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself I wish there was a person that would miss me when I can't leave bed I wish I wasn't stuck sharing my secrets with these made up friends I wish I could be honest about the ugly Without every single person running from me These days it's hard to have faith And more than anything I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself I wish somebody listened As much as I go through hell For everytime I've thought of ending it all Wish somebody had felt what I felt I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself The floods I feel This storm could kill I'm better off to keep it damned 'Cause the more I speak The more I see Just how alone I really am I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself I wish somebody listened As much as I go through hell For everytime I've thought of ending it all Wish somebody had felt what I felt I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself

I always hate, hate, hate When you running around I wanna shake, shake, shake Bitch, I wanna be drowned I'll watch you hate, hate, hate Until you burn to the ground I'll watch you hate (Until you burn to the ground) I always hate, hate, hate When you running around I wanna shake, shake, shake Bitch, I wanna be drowned I'll watch you hate, hate, hate Until you burn to the ground I'll watch you hate (Until you burn to the ground)' I always hate, hate, hate When you running around I wanna shake, shake, shake Bitch, I wanna be drowned I'll watch you hate, hate Until you burn to the ground I'll watch you hate, hate (Until you burn to the ground) I always hate, hate, hate When you running around I wanna shake, shake, shake Bitch, I wanna be drowned I'll watch you hate, hate Until you burn to the ground I'll watch you hate, hate (Until you burn to the ground) You're acting like a psychopath, my dear One day you know it's wrong, the next is clear It's getting really hard to hear that bullshit Talking, when the money's all in my ear You're just another wrong and worthless hack One day you know it's blonde, the next it's black If you wanna seal the deal and come stab me Then you better pull the knife out of my back I always hate, hate, hate When you running around I wanna shake, shake, shake Bitch, I wanna be drowned I'll watch you hate, hate Until you burn to the ground I'll watch you hate, hate (Until you burn to the ground) I always hate, hate, hate When you running around I wanna shake, shake, shake Bitch, I wanna be drowned I'll watch you hate, hate Until you burn to the ground I'll watch you hate, hate (Until you burn to the ground) Be careful hon' Stop telling me on And I can't move on Think I'll probably flawed And I'd kill myself at four in the morning Pills probably gone I think I hate myself, you make me wanna say They know, they know, they know, they know I always hate, hate, hate When you running around I wanna shake, shake, shake Bitch, I wanna be drowned I'll watch you hate, hate Until you burn to the ground I'll watch you hate, hate (Until you burn to the ground) I always hate, hate, hate When you running around I wanna shake, shake, shake Bitch, I wanna be drowned I'll watch you hate, hate Until you burn to the ground I'll watch you hate, hate (Until you burn to the ground)

Now, sometimes these thoughts in my head speak so loud Every little thing that I think about Just builds on top of the pain and doubt Even though I wanna just let it out I try to act like I don't mind it, try to keep my mouth so quiet But sittin' there in my silence just seems to amplify it When I thought that keepin' this inside would make it better I never thought that I would end up ruining it forever But every time I think I got everything put back together I end up making more regrets, making more regrets Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start Fighting myself, I always lose Fighting myself, I always lose I didn't want you to think I'm worn out so easily I wish I'd held it in so you never knew what built up inside of me Now I don't know how it overflows, spilled out unwillingly But now everything that I learned to hate came out for you to see I don't want you to promise you can change everything and make it better 'Cause you can bet I'm gonna end up ruining it forever And every time you think you got everything put back together I end up making more regrets, making more regrets Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start Fighting myself, I always lose Fighting myself, I always lose Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start Fighting myself, I always lose Fighting myself, I always lose I can't run with this weight on my back I can't see 'cause I'm focused on the past I can't breathe, I need to break free From the anger that is constantly inside me I can't run with this weight on my back I can't see 'cause I'm focused on the past I can't breathe, I need to break free From the anger that is constantly inside of me Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start I can't breathe, I need to break free From the anger that is constantly inside of me Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start I can't breathe, I need to break free From the anger that is constantly inside of me

눈을 뜬다 어둠 속 나 심장이 뛰는 소리 낯설 때 마주 본다 거울 속 너 겁먹은 눈빛 해묵은 질문 어쩌면 누군가를 사랑하는 것보다 더 어려운 게 나 자신을 사랑하는 거야 솔직히 인정할 건 인정하자 니가 내린 잣대들은 너에게 더 엄격하단 걸 니 삶 속의 굵은 나이테 그 또한 너의 일부 너이기에 이제는 나 자신을 용서하자 버리기엔 우리 인생은 길어 미로 속에선 날 믿어 겨울이 지나면 다시 봄은 오는 거야 차가운 밤의 시선 초라한 날 감추려 몹시 뒤척였지만 저 수많은 별을 맞기 위해 난 떨어졌던가 저 수천 개 찬란한 화살의 과녁은 나 하나 You've shown me I have reasons I should love myself 내 숨 내 걸어온 길 전부로 답해 어제의 나 오늘의 나 내일의 나 I'm learning how to love myself 빠짐없이 남김없이 모두 다 나 정답은 없을지도 몰라 어쩜 이것도 답은 아닌 거야 그저 날 사랑하는 일조차 누구의 허락이 필요했던 거야 난 지금도 나를 또 찾고 있어 But 더는 죽고 싶지가 않은 걸 슬프던 me 아프던 me 더 아름다울 美 그래 그 아름다움이 있다고 아는 마음이 나의 사랑으로 가는 길 가장 필요한 나다운 일, eh 지금 날 위한 행보는 바로 날 위한 행동 날 위한 태도 그게 날 위한 행복 I'll show you what i got 두렵진 않아 그건 내 존재니까 Love myself 시작의 처음부터 끝의 마지막까지 해답은 오직 하나 왜 자꾸만 감추려고만 해 니 가면 속으로 내 실수로 생긴 흉터까지 다 내 별자린데 You've shown me I have reasons I should love myself oh oh oh 내 숨 내 걸어온 길 전부로 답해 내 안에는 여전히 oh oh oh 서툰 내가 있지만 oh oh oh You've shown me I have reasons I should love myself oh oh 내 숨 내 걸어온 길 전부로 답해 oh oh oh 어제의 나 오늘의 나 내일의 나 I'm learning how to love myself 빠짐없이 남김없이 모두 다 나

What did I say? What do you want? I swear I'll make it up Oh my gosh, what have I done? Hmm Pain in my chest, can't get to sleep In these cold and empty sheets Where did you go? Why did you leave? Lie to me, it would help Just lie to me, say you found someone else Lie to me, it would help Just lie to me, say you found someone else So I don't blame myself Ooh, ooh, ooh So I don't blame myself Ooh, ooh, ooh So I don't blame myself So I don't blame myself So I don't blame myself Movin' too fast, callin' it love Was I just not enough? Nothin' makes sense, it don't add up (oh, whoa) Slammin' the door, not sayin' a word It just keeps gettin' worse I'm not okay, honest, it hurts Lie to me, it would help Just lie to me, say you found someone else Lie to me, it would help Just lie to me, say you found someone else So I don't blame myself Ooh, ooh, ooh (ooh) So I don't blame myself (hey) Ooh, ooh, ooh (ooh) So I don't blame myself (Oh, oh whoa, oh whoa) So I don't blame myself (Oh, oh whoa, whoa) So I don't blame myself (Oh, oh whoa, oh whoa) So I don't blame myself

I don't wanna lose myself Lose myself We used to drive down the west side Honda 92, that's my first ride Walk into Sevan's with no ID Barely 16, cop the 40 (Yeah) Left my city in a rush (In a rush) Didn't look back, gave you up (I gave you up) Now I see my name in the lights (In the lights) But it's still dark inside I don't wanna lose myself Lose myself We used to sleep in a closet (Yeah) E-40 on repeat (On repeat) Sippin' boba in the sunset Now you won't look at me (Yeah) Left my city in a rush (In a rush) Didn't look back, gave you up (I gave you up) Now I see my name in the lights (In the lights) But it's still dark inside I don't wanna lose myself Lose myself To this, to this, to this I just wanna feel something Took a long time to clear my head I just wanna feel something I lost my love Lose myself, myself, myself Yeah, yeah, yeah Lose myself, myself, myself Oh no no If I lose it all Will you look for me? If I lose it all Meet me back at Ocean Beach

متكتف مهموم موجوع وضعيف وشجاع مليان أحلام وعشان مربوط مكسور وبكسر في المآديف وتفوت أيام وتمر سنين وانا حالي غريب انا مين انا مين مشدود في الساقية وعايش مبسوط وحزين ومحبط وجرئ ورزين مشدود في الساقية وعايش مبسوط وحزين ومحبط وجرئ ورزين على غفلة اتحول بركان جبار انا ضلمة وليل أنا نار ونهار متكتف مهموم موجوع وضعيف وشجاع مليان أحلام وعشان مربوط مكسور وبكسر في المآديف ماشي على طريق مكتوب مرسوم بس انا مسؤول وعليا اللوم ماقدرش أقول من الذنب برئ لا انا ابليس ولا هبقى رسول ماقدرش أقول من الذنب برئ لا انا ابليس ولا هبقى رسول قدامي طريق همشيه همشيه نفهم في الآخر كل ده لية متكتف مهموم موجوع وضعيف وشجاع مليان أحلام وعشان مربوط مكسور وبكسر في المآديف

فوسط زحمة وناس كتير وطريق أنا ماشي فيه عكس السير وسط الطموح والأمل والتمني فاضلي خطوة توصلني فوسط حاجات ومكيفات بحاول أنسى كل اللي فات في وسط صدري ضلعي مكسور ومن خلاله قلبي شايف نور أنا كنت فاكر اني طاير وأتاريني على وشي بقع أنا كنت فاكر إني هوصل لكني بهرب من الوجع أنا كنت فاكر اني طاير وأتاريني على وشي بقع أنا كنت فاكر إني هوصل لكني بهرب من الوجع فوسط الليل وأنا بعيد عن البشر شفت نور يشبه نور القمر بس القمر مسيره يفارق ويسيبني تاني مع الوحدة أحارب فوسط قصة حب يعني وهمية كان لازم أصدق اصل الوحدة قوية مش كل المشاعر حقيقية أنا شفت نور معرفتش اغمض عنيا أنا كنت فاكر اني طاير وأتاريني على وشي بقع أنا كنت فاكر إني هوصل لكني بهرب من الوجع أنا كنت فاكر اني طاير وأتاريني على وشي بقع أنا كنت فاكر إني هوصل لكني بهرب من الوجع

بخاف أنساكي، بخاف أنساكي، بخاف أغيب أنا نسيت نفسي ومنستكيش أنا نسيت أنا مين، نسيت أنا مين سنينك تسرقني ونارك تكويني من جوا وأسيح ولا ينفع أي بيتادين، ولا ينفع أي بيتادين وأنا ضايع ضايع، إنسي يلاقوه لو بكرهك إستحالة ألوم أنا فيا كتير بس مش بقول أنا كاتم همي وغمي ده جوايا أنا رايح رايح، أنا مش بفوق مش زي الحزن أنا إستحالة أدوم لسا زي ما أنا عـ العموم بس الفرق إن إنتي مش معايا إنتي بتباني وتختفي في لمح البصر مش قريبة، بعيدة زي القمر مفيش بيننا أي طريق مختصر إتحكمت في كل حاجة إلا الغضب كل اللي قولته فضفضة، كل اللي قولته فضفضة كل اللي سمعته كان صدى بخاف أنساكي، بخاف أنساكي، بخاف أغيب أنا نسيت نفسي ومنستكيش أنا نسيت أنا مين، نسيت أنا مين سنينك تسرقني ونارك تكويني من جوا وأسيح ولا ينفع أي بيتادين، ولا ينفع أي بيتادين مفيش فيكي عيب، يمكن ده عيبك مفيش فيا شيء مش هتشوفه عينك أنا واضح واضح، أنا واضح واضح لا مبتجملش أنا حقيقي إنتي بتصيبيني زي نصيبي أمر واقع، أنا واضح واضح أنا متدغدغ، أنا متكسر أنا متدمر، في قلبي خنجر مضروب ٢٠٠ طلقة وإستحالة إن جروحي تتطهر دموعي غالية، دموعها فضة أخاف أسافر بعيد همومي تتجمرك خايف من المكتوبلي مقلق من اللي مقدر إفتكريني لما الليل يليل هتلاقيني جايلك جايلك أنا ميت ميت ميت ميت أنا زي الظن سيء سيء انا زي الظن سيء سيء إفتكريني لما الليل يليل هتلاقيني جايلك جايلك أنا ميت ميت ميت ميت أنا زي الظن سيء سيء بخاف أنساكي، بخاف أنساكي، بخاف أغيب أنا نسيت نفسي ومنستكيش أنا نسيت أنا مين، نسيت أنا مين سنينك تسرقني ونارك تكويني من جوا وأسيح ولا ينفع أي بيتادين، ولا ينفع أي بيتادين

Yeah-yeah, uh-uh, uh-uh Uh-uh, yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah Uh-uh, yeah-yeah She don't wanna strip no more, don't wanna hit that pole (oh) Hit my old plug, I get it in and go (ooh, ooh) Shawty owe me something, better pay your toll (pay up, pay up) I lick the spoon and I scrape the bowl (skrrt, skrrt) Scrape the bowl (skrrt, skrrt) Scrape the bowl (skrrt, skrrt) Like, did you get the memo? She eat at out of the relay I'm poppin' hella Skittles Then I can solve your riddle We'll smoke you like it's menthol This dude is crazy mental A suave, hood hero Got Johnny Dang dental She's a nympho She slobbin' on her pillow Got chicken, Rob' De Niro She's too gone and she can't hear you (ooh, ooh, I know) She don't wanna strip no more, don't wanna hit that pole Hit my old plug, I get it in and go She don't wanna strip no more, don't wanna hit that pole (oh) Hit my old plug, I get it in and go (ooh, ooh) Shawty owe me something, better pay your toll (Pay up, pay up) I lick the spoon and I scrape the bowl (skrrt, skrrt) Scrape the bowl (skrrt, skrrt) Scrape the bowl (skrrt, skrrt) Seein' way too many ones I'm 'bout to throw some hundreds (I'm 'bout to throw some hundreds) In that old life that you run from Baby girl, keep running (ooh, keep running) It's pressure with me, sexually (sexually) Check my bank account (ooh, ooh) It's precious to me I got my anchor out (ooh, ooh) I'm locked in your sea You know you're my baby now, you're special to me I bought you time, I bought you diamonds, you can keep the receipt I got you down, I got you loose, I guess you owe it to me Is you down or nah? Fuck around, find your spot I get you lit, lit, drunk, trip Watch me slip inside She don't wanna strip no more, don't wanna hit that pole (oh) Hit my old plug, I get it in and go (ooh, ooh) Shawty owe me something, better pay your toll (Pay up, pay, up) I lick the spoon and I scrape the bowl (skrrt, skrrt) Scrape the bowl (skrrt, skrrt) Scrape the bowl (skrrt, skrrt) And I sent her away Pull out, sent her on her way She don't wanna hit the strip club, no, no She don't wanna go strip, no, no She don't wanna go strip, no way

Just come outside, for the night (Yeah) Take your time, get your light (Yeah) Shawty giant, huh-uh I been out geekin' Bitch Fien', fien', fien', fien'-fien' (Yeah) Fien', fien', fien', fien'-fien' (Yeah) Fien', fien', fien', fien'-fien' Fien', fien' (Yeah), fien', fien', fien' The career's more at stake when you in your prime (At stake) Fuck that paper, baby, my face on the dotted line (Dot, yeah) I been flyin' out of town for some peace of mind (Yeah, yeah, bitch) It's like always they just want a piece of mine (Ah) I been focused on the future, never on right now (Ah) But I'm sippin', not kombucha, either pink or brown (It's lit) I'm the one that introduced you to the you right now (Mm, let's go) Oh my God, that bitch bite (That bitch bite) But alright (Alright), tryna vibe (Tryna vibe like this) In the night, come alive Ain't asleep, ain't a—, ain't a—, ain't-ain't-ain't— Fien', fien', fien', fien'-fien' Fien', fien', fien', fien'-fien' Fien', fien', fien', fien'-fien' Fien', fien', fien', fien' Fien', fien', fien', fien' Syrup, woah, what? What? (Homixide, Homixide, Homixide, Homixide) What? (Yeah, woah, yeah, yeah) (Homixide, Homixide, Homixide, Homixide, yeah) (Yeah, hol' up, yeah) Yeah, I just been poppin' my shit it's been gettin' live, hol' up (Shit) Yeah, you try to come 'round 'bout this shit, they poppin' ya tires, hol' up (Shit) Uh, hunnid round, woah, feel it, knock 'em on ten Playin' both sides with these hoes (Hol' up) Shawty, I'm fuckin' yo' friends (Hol' up) I been goin' crazy, shawty, I been handlin' these bands She not innocent, uh, shit, she tryna go— Fien', fien' (Yeah, talm 'bout), fien', fien'-fien' (Syrup, oh-oh, what?) Fien', fien', fien', fien'-fien' (Syrup, oh-oh) Fien', fien', fien', fien'-fien'-fien' (Talkin' bout, talm 'bout, let's go) I just been icin' my hoes I just been drippin' my ho (Drippin' my ho) This is a whole 'nother level, shawty I got these hoes on they toes (Hoes on they toes) I put this bitch on the road She tryna fuck on the O, hol' up, hol' up I got this ho with me, she tryna show me sum', hol' up, hol' up I got flows for days, these niggas ain't know nun', hol' up, hol' up Me and my bro locked in, you know we on one, hol' up We in the spot goin' crazy, until the sun up You worried about that ho, that ho done chose us (Bitch-ass) Uh, pistols all in the kitchen, can't get it to cold, uh, hol' up, yeah (Wow) Fien', fien', fien' (Hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, yeah) Why the fuck these niggas actin' like they know us? Double 0, Cactus, shit we towed up, this shit how we told 'em (Skrrt, skrrt) Switch out the bag, these niggas get rolled up (It's lit, hol' up, slatt) Everything lit, hol' up, everything Homixide, Homixide (Homixide, Homixide, Homixide, Homixide) Fien', fien', fien', fien'-fien'-fien' (Homixide, Homixide, Homixide, Homixide, Homixide, Homixide, Homixide)

اه ياخويا فاتك كتير كلام محبوس و جوايا حتي انت مش نفس الشخص اللي معايا لسه فراك و بجري و جيبي يدفعلك طب لحد امتا انا هفضل كدا الله اعلم انا من صغري بلف مفيش وصول و ريحه الناس في الفصول خلتني افكر امتا يابا هنستقر و ايه الظروف اما بتنساني اما اقول مش فكراني ياه ده انا لسه بحن لصوره قديمه وحشاني ياه ياه ياه ياه ياه ياه يا حبيبي انا نفسي ارتاح مبقاش سواح وبلف ليالي انا نفسي ارسالي ياه ياه ياه ياه ياه ياه الناس بتروح وتنسي وانا لسه متعلق بحبالي Ay ياه ياه ياه ياه ياه ياه يا حبيبي انا نفسي ارتاح مبقاش سواح وبلف ليالي انا نفسي ارسالي ياه ياه ياه ياه ياه ياه الناس بتروح وتنسي وانا لسه متعلق بحبالي يازمان خلاص كفايه واحنا كسبنا ايه بكلام كام مره هودت مالك وانا مش تمام ازاي فكل الخلق ديه مفيش انسان ونشكي لمين مفيش عنوان وتايه بقالي سنين زعلت فمكان ضحكت في انا شايل فنفسي حكايات متحكتش متسبنيش ياغايب الحمل تقيل ويخف لو بيا وبيك ولو غلطان ابقي اعذرني او اشكيلي ومتسبنيش مش عايز اعيش الرحله مش ده اللي كنتي بتحلم بيه ولا انت نسيت كام مره بكيت خدوا مني كتير ياما خدوا مني كتير و انا اللي كنت غريب غريب عشان بسيب رسمولي مكيده يابا و القلب كان خطاء غلطت انا من الاول اه احساسي كان غلطان كام مره جبرت خاطر حاضر ميقولش جيبي خلاص يا حبيبي انا جلدي نمل خالص لوحدي افوت في النار Ay ياه ياه ياه ياه ياه ياه يا حبيبي انا نفسي ارتاح مبقاش سواح وبلف ليالي انا نفسي ارسالي ياه ياه ياه ياه ياه ياه الناس بتروح وتنسي وانا لسه متعلق بحبالي

مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع ياه لو كان الموت يفرِق لو كانت الغيوم تقفِل لو كانت السموم تغلِب كانت النجوم دبِلِت لو كان المعاد فاتني حتى لو ضلي سابني مش هسأل أنا إيه اللي جابني ما بقتش تفرق طول ما أنا ماشي لوحدي فيها أنا اللي بكسب حتى لو موج البحر خدني مش محتاج أشتكي وأنده ربي وحده بس عالم باللي في قلبي مش بتشوفي الصورة كاملة حبيتي البرواز من بعدي بطَّلت أظبط ساعتي لو كان يهمِّك بجد كنتي سألتي و أنا أكيد كنت هجاوب مفيش، مفيش، مفيش مانع انسي، مش هفضل فاكر مفيش مفيش مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع مفيش مانع كان نفسي محسش بالذنب كان نفسي دماغي دي تسيبني في حالي لما أشوفك أحس إنه عادي مبيعش اللي بينا لو جيتي في بالي دي فرصة سعيدة بس أنا متمناش تتكرر تاني وأنا مش هفضل فيكي ماسك مش متعوّد أتنازل أنا روحي طالعة بتتنازع مش هتشوفيني في النازل أنا عندي أيام في الهوا طارت عندي ساعات في الهوا طارت وأنا جايب آخري ومش صابر فاصل، أنا فاصل، أنا فاصل لو عالوقت مفيش فاضل لو على نفسي مفيش خالص أنا لو على حبِك فبناقص قاطع السكة مفيش واصل أنا لو عالوقت مفيش فاضل لو على نفسي مفيش خالص أنا لو على حبك فبناقص قاطع السكة مفيش واصل إيه وأنا مش محتاجك، متجيش مش محتاج أنسى أنا مين الحال مش ثابت مراجيح عقلي بيدور دراويش أنا حالي مش مرضي (لو كان الموت يفرق) مفيش مانع فيه أدرينالين جروح بتلم من غير بيتادين مفيش سر في البير غير لما الدايرة بتضيق غير لما الدايرة بتضيق (لو كان المعاد فاتني) هي بتشد وتسيب وأنا في دماغي مسحول قاعد بفك جنزير عندي من الكره كرتونة عبيت من الشر صناديق عبيت من الشر صناديق