Driving Myself Home - Rose Betts

You're revvin' and drivin' through the night When those stars line up like they should You've turned into what you've been Through, but you used to be the good Think of that old photograph, your mom in '89 Your dad laughed, said she was like that When she had herself too much wine You'd give anything at all to be anywhere but here Your breathin' only steadies when you start to disappear You wanna be in mountains or smellin' water by the coast But you can't get out of your own mind, so you settle in and coast And you just drive to stay alive One more day passes by You just drive through the night 'Til that darkness turns to sky You think about your sister and the mighty heart she has She's been sober for a year now how the time seems to pass They told you it would go quick but you never tend to listen Don't you miss your mama, boy hummin' hymnals in the kitchen And you just drive to stay alive One more day that passes by You just drive through the night 'Til that darkness turns to sky The concrete is the same here as it is in Rogers County I bet those boys are doin' fine runnin' roads without me Don't you miss the days when we'd sneak Jack in football games? No one in this town remembers my name anyway So I just drive to stay alive One more day that passes by I just drive through the night 'Til that darkness turns to sky You're revvin' and drivin' through the night When those stars line up like they should You've turned into what you've been Through, but you used to be the good

Yeah, I'm just drunk driving again Pulling away from all my sins Tell my momma I love her and take care of my friends When I'm out drunk driving again I don't wanna leave you lonely but I've got to 'Cause it's only the things I need to prove To you and everybody else That scares me so damn much I can't take it, I'm not strong It's probably best that I move on Get outta here, fade away That's why I'm drunk driving again Running away from all of my sins And tell my momma I love her and take care of my friends When I'm out drunk driving again Everybody's gotta die somehow Why not for me right now, right now Well, I'm out drunk driving again Drunk driving again I'm drunk driving again Running away from all of my sins Tell my mother I lovе her and take care of my friеnds 'Cause I'm just drunk driving again Yeah, I'm drunk driving again

Now, sometimes these thoughts in my head speak so loud Every little thing that I think about Just builds on top of the pain and doubt Even though I wanna just let it out I try to act like I don't mind it, try to keep my mouth so quiet But sittin' there in my silence just seems to amplify it When I thought that keepin' this inside would make it better I never thought that I would end up ruining it forever But every time I think I got everything put back together I end up making more regrets, making more regrets Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start Fighting myself, I always lose Fighting myself, I always lose I didn't want you to think I'm worn out so easily I wish I'd held it in so you never knew what built up inside of me Now I don't know how it overflows, spilled out unwillingly But now everything that I learned to hate came out for you to see I don't want you to promise you can change everything and make it better 'Cause you can bet I'm gonna end up ruining it forever And every time you think you got everything put back together I end up making more regrets, making more regrets Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start Fighting myself, I always lose Fighting myself, I always lose Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start Fighting myself, I always lose Fighting myself, I always lose I can't run with this weight on my back I can't see 'cause I'm focused on the past I can't breathe, I need to break free From the anger that is constantly inside me I can't run with this weight on my back I can't see 'cause I'm focused on the past I can't breathe, I need to break free From the anger that is constantly inside of me Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start I can't breathe, I need to break free From the anger that is constantly inside of me Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart Knowing I could've changed it all from the start I can't breathe, I need to break free From the anger that is constantly inside of me

I don't see you like I should You look so misunderstood And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Pray to God with my arms open If this is it, then I feel hopeless And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Yeah, late nights are the worst for me They bring out the worst in me Mind runnin', got me feelin' like it hurts to think If this is all that I wanted, I don't want it, gotta be more for me All the core beliefs And every mornin' I wake up and feel like I am not worth it 'Cause I'm at war with peace I go to Hell, walk up to the corpse of me Look at the body like, "You ain't nothin' but poor and weak" It's kinda weird Lately I been feelin' like the only way for me to get away is if I pour the drink That's more deceit, more defeat Is this really what I'm born to be? That's what you get for thinkin' you're unique So poor, but I'm so wealthy Need help, but you can't help me What else can the world sell me? Tell me lies, I still buy 'em like they're goin' outta stock But it's not healthy I don't see you like I should You look so misunderstood And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Pray to God with my arms open If this is it, then I feel hopeless And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Yeah, late nights get the best of me They know how to get to me Suicide thoughts come and go like a guest to me But I don't wanna die, I just wanna get relief So don't talk to me like you think I'm so successful What is success when hope has left you? I am not a spokesman, I'm a broken record Sick of doin' interviews 'cause I hate myself, agh! Come across like it's so easy But I feel like you don't need me When I feel like you don't need me Then I feel like you don't see me And my life has no meaning, drain me Hands out, tryna ask for love But when I get it, I just pass it up Throw it away and think about it later Diggin' through the trash for drugs Wish I could give you what you needed, but I can't I'm scared because I don't see you like I should You look so misunderstood And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Pray to God with my arms open If this is it, then I feel hopeless And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself I walk through the ashes of my passions Reminiscin' with the baggage in my casket Get lost in the questions I can't answer Can't stand who I am, but it don't matter We scream to be free, but I stay captured Knee-deep in defeat of my own actions Feel weak, but the peace that I keep lacking Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it But I can't have it Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it But I can't have it Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it I don't see you like I should You look so misunderstood And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Pray to God with my arms open If this is it, then I feel hopeless And I wish I could help But it's hard when I hate myself Hate myself But it's hard when I hate myself Hate myself But it's hard when I hate myself When I hate myself It's kinda hard when I hate myself I hate myself It's hard when I hate myself

متكتف مهموم موجوع وضعيف وشجاع مليان أحلام وعشان مربوط مكسور وبكسر في المآديف وتفوت أيام وتمر سنين وانا حالي غريب انا مين انا مين مشدود في الساقية وعايش مبسوط وحزين ومحبط وجرئ ورزين مشدود في الساقية وعايش مبسوط وحزين ومحبط وجرئ ورزين على غفلة اتحول بركان جبار انا ضلمة وليل أنا نار ونهار متكتف مهموم موجوع وضعيف وشجاع مليان أحلام وعشان مربوط مكسور وبكسر في المآديف ماشي على طريق مكتوب مرسوم بس انا مسؤول وعليا اللوم ماقدرش أقول من الذنب برئ لا انا ابليس ولا هبقى رسول ماقدرش أقول من الذنب برئ لا انا ابليس ولا هبقى رسول قدامي طريق همشيه همشيه نفهم في الآخر كل ده لية متكتف مهموم موجوع وضعيف وشجاع مليان أحلام وعشان مربوط مكسور وبكسر في المآديف

فوسط زحمة وناس كتير وطريق أنا ماشي فيه عكس السير وسط الطموح والأمل والتمني فاضلي خطوة توصلني فوسط حاجات ومكيفات بحاول أنسى كل اللي فات في وسط صدري ضلعي مكسور ومن خلاله قلبي شايف نور أنا كنت فاكر اني طاير وأتاريني على وشي بقع أنا كنت فاكر إني هوصل لكني بهرب من الوجع أنا كنت فاكر اني طاير وأتاريني على وشي بقع أنا كنت فاكر إني هوصل لكني بهرب من الوجع فوسط الليل وأنا بعيد عن البشر شفت نور يشبه نور القمر بس القمر مسيره يفارق ويسيبني تاني مع الوحدة أحارب فوسط قصة حب يعني وهمية كان لازم أصدق اصل الوحدة قوية مش كل المشاعر حقيقية أنا شفت نور معرفتش اغمض عنيا أنا كنت فاكر اني طاير وأتاريني على وشي بقع أنا كنت فاكر إني هوصل لكني بهرب من الوجع أنا كنت فاكر اني طاير وأتاريني على وشي بقع أنا كنت فاكر إني هوصل لكني بهرب من الوجع

One, two, three Why are you hanging on so tight To the rope that I'm hanging from? Off this island, this was an escape plan (this was an escape plan) Carefully timed it, so let me go And dive into the waves below Who tends the orchards? Who fixes up the gables? Emotional torture from the head of your high table Who fetches the water from the rocky mountain spring? And walk back down again to feel your words and their sharp sting And I'm getting fucking tired The capillaries in my eyes are bursting If our love died, would that be the worst thing? For somebody I thought was my saviour You sure make me do a whole lot of labour The calloused skin on my hands is cracking If our love ended, would that be a bad thing? And the silence haunts our bed chamber You make me do too much labour You make me do too much labour Apologies from my tongue, and never yours Busy lapping from flowing cup and stabbing with your fork I know you're a smart man (I know you're a smart man), and weaponise The false incompetence, it's dominance under a guise If we had a daughter, I'd watch and could not save her The emotional torture, from the head of your high table She'd do what you taught her, she'd meet the same cruel fate So now I've gotta run, so I can undo this mistake At least I've gotta try The capillaries in my eyes are bursting If our love died, would that be the worst thing? For somebody I thought was my saviour You sure make me do a whole lot of labour The calloused skin on my hands is cracking If our love ends, would that be a bad thing? And the silence haunts our bed chamber You make me do too much labour All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid Nymph then a virgin, nurse then a servant Just an appendage, live to attend him So that he never lifts a finger 24-7, baby machine So he can live out his picket fence dreams It's not an act of love if you make her You make me do too much labour All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid Nymph then virgin, nurse and a servant Just an appendage, live to attend him So that he never lifts a finger 24-7, baby machine So he can live out his picket fence dreams It's not an act of love if you make her You make me do too much labour All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid (The capillaries in my eyes are bursting) Nymph then virgin, nurse and a servant (If our love died, would that be the worst thing?) Just an appendage, live to attend him (For somebody I thought was my saviour) So that he never lifts a finger (You sure make me do a whole lot of labour) 24-7, baby machine (The calloused skin on my hands is crackin') So he can live out his picket fence dreams (If our love ends, would that be a bad thing?) It's not an act of love if you make her (And the silence haunts our bed chamber) You make me do too much labour